The Gallery of Loss

For those who lose loved ones to diseases like cancer or to accidents and other sudden bereavement, there is a need for self-help and deep thought. We may not always have access to others for support – it’s wonderful if you do, but even the closest family members or health professionals can’t be available to you twenty-four seven. Dealing with death is a frustrating and exhausting experience. In January 2018, my sons lost their father to cirrhosis of the liver. A year later, my younger son was diagnosed with renal cell carcinoma (kidney cancer) which took his life and another year on, my eldest sister is battling stage IV breast cancer. I can safely say that I am familiar with the face of death. This is a personal account of things that can happen, things that might happen and things that will happen in the fight for life that you undertake on behalf of a loved one who can’t battle for themselves. It is not aimed at helping people who lose someone suddenly – that terrible shock is an experience possibly needing some different tactics to these – but some of the processes here might be of help. I hope that in reading this self-help guide, the personal accounts here can help some of you who are struggling with events and people that may seem surreal. Writing down our experiences is therapy in itself and even if you don’t like expressing your feelings in words, doing so can bring healing and a measure of peace.