Most of a Novel

"A witty, genre defying, nonlinear experience that reads like your favorite cult classic film. The book has the same kind of satire that can only be seen as very, very British." - Leslie Smith ABOUT THIS BOOK Most of a Novel follows 24 hours in the life of Chauncy Nathaniel Swanston, a devastatingly attractive man whom has become addicted to having showers in the aftermath of his parents' murder. It's been a year since they were killed while they were watching DIY SOS and Chauncy would really like to find out who killed them AND where their bodies are so he can reunite them with their heads, which he is currently storing in his freezer. Yes, the police know; yes, it's all above board; yes, he keeps them in Sainsbury's carrier bags so he definitely doesn't accidentally defrost them. There are all kinds of different genres included in the book, such as crime, thriller, sci-fi, supernatural, animals, and gritty British seaside noir. And because I published it before I finished it, my notes to self are included in author's brackets which look like this: [ ]. HOW DID THIS BOOK COME ABOUT? One winter's night a figure appeared to me in my studio annex apartment, which is not attached to my parents' house, asking for my help. But just whom was this ghostly specimen? And what did he want with me? Well he wasn't a ghost — he was to all intents and purposes a real man — but without all the usual attributes such as a physical body. His name? Chauncy Nathaniel Swanston His quest? To find out whom murdered his parents His preferred method of communication? Energy **PLEASE NOTE What you are hearing about is the first documented case of a fictional character seeking its own writer** This book is the result of several of Chauncy's night time visitations with me, and while I cannot in all good conscience say that I achieved what he asked in finding out whom killed his parents I have had a really good go and when you read the book you'll see it's not my fault that it isn't finished yet. Thank you, you're welcome. "Deeply influential ... pushes the boundaries of modern fiction and is highly recommended." - Nicola Garrard EXTRACT A rage builds up in Chauncy. He feels all of his toned body tense up. The tension starts in his strong shoulders and goes all the way around to his dynamic chest, where it explores slowly down, down, down his torso, quietly to his groin, then it hurries around to his buttocks, then back round the front again, then keeps going south down his wide thighs to his knees, then it goes back up again for a minute but then sweeps down and rests on his bulbous calves. Suddenly the brilliant light opens up and a force pulls them forward like nothing Chauncy has ever felt before, apart from when he's accidentally caught himself on the Dyson hoover pipe. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Bella De La Rocher has started 29 books, 76 short stories, 269 poems and has 25 Netflix-ready scripts, but she is mainly and mostly the writer of a heart-stopping literary crime thriller novel (this one) starring Chauncy Nathaniel Swanston, whom manages to be both fictional and factual at once. This is because although Chauncy is, on the one hand, "not real", he is also, at times, the most corporal it is possible for a man to be. Bella de la Rocher has been published in places like* The New Yorker, The Man Brooker Prize, The Guardian, London Review of Books, and The Times Literary Supplement. *but not actually