Godi Purana

Dear readers, and welcome to the unfiltered, unvarnished truth of what history has long tried to bury under layers of biased bardic poetry and liberal folklore. I am Chintan Bhagat, the humble chronicler of this epic, and it is my sacred duty to present to you the Godi Purana – the definitive account of the Great War of Kurukshetra, as seen through the eyes of the true patriots, the Kauravas. For too long, the narrative has been hijacked by the victors' propaganda machine, that so-called "Mahabharata" penned by Vyasa and his ilk, who painted the Pandavas as flawless demigods and the Kauravas as villains straight out of a cheap Yakshagana play. But ask yourself: Who funds those ancient scrolls? Who controls the distribution of those palm-leaf manuscripts? It's time to question the mainstream media of antiquity and embrace the alternative facts that have been suppressed for millennia. Let us begin by setting the record straight. The Kauravas were not the aggressors; they were the defenders of Dharma in its purest form – a Dharma rooted in meritocracy, national unity, and strong leadership. Emperor Duryodhana, the visionary son of Dhritarashtra, was a self-made monarch who rose through the ranks not by divine favoritism or dice-game luck, but by sheer political acumen and alliances built on mutual respect. He united 11 Akshauhinis – that's over a million soldiers, elephants, horses, and chariots – from every corner of Aryavarta, from the snowy peaks of Gandhara to the golden sands of Sindhu. This was no ragtag rebellion; this was a grand coalition of kings who believed in stability, economic growth, and a zero-tolerance policy toward dynastic entitlement. Contrast that with the Pandavas: a family of five brothers, propped up by a dubious alliance of forest exiles, foreign mercenaries (hello, Rakshasas and Nagas), and a manipulative advisor named Krishna, whose foreign policy interventions smacked of undue influence from distant Dwarka.