Summary of Sh*t My Dad Says

This audiobook is narrated by a digital voice. After a breakup left twenty-eight-year-old Justin Halpern living back at home, he found himself confronted daily with the unfiltered, outrageous wisdom of his seventy-three-year-old father, Sam Halpern. Sharp-tongued, brutally honest, and often hilarious, Sam quickly became the source of endless material, offering observations that ranged from the absurd to the profound. Justin began recording the wild and unforgettable things his father said, capturing both his biting humor and surprising insights. Quotes like, “That woman was sexy… Out of your league? Son, let women figure out why they won't screw you. Don't do it for them,” and “Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started fucking,” reveal Sam’s knack for blending blunt life advice with comedy. While he often skewered social norms and human folly, his underlying message emphasized honesty, integrity, and thinking for oneself. The collection of quips expanded beyond the kitchen and family road trips into a narrative about growing up, learning lessons the hard way, and navigating life’s misadventures. From the Little League field to diners like Denny’s, the book charts Justin’s coming-of-age through the lens of his father’s chaotic, colorful, and unforgettable personality. Sht My Dad Says* weaves together comedy and genuine human insight, capturing a father-son relationship that is as touching as it is hilarious. Through Sam’s outrageous remarks, readers are treated to a portrait of American family life that is deeply relatable, outrageously funny, and remarkably honest. The memoir reflects how humor, love, and unfiltered advice can shape identity, teaching lessons that linger long after the laughter fades.