Behind the Behaviour

You didn't sign up to be perfect. You signed up to show up — again and again, especially on the days it's hardest to. Foster caring means loving a child through behaviour that can look like defiance, aggression, or shutdown — and knowing that underneath, it's rarely about you. Behind the Behaviour is a practical, trauma-informed toolkit built for the exact moments that test foster carers most: meltdowns, power struggles, lying, aggression, withdrawal, and the everyday tests of trust that come with caring for a child who's been let down before. Inside, you'll find: 60 short, practical tools — organised by behaviour, ready to use in the moment A trauma-informed foundation explaining what's really going on underneath the behaviour A carer self-check, because your own regulation matters as much as theirs A workbook chapter to build your own personal shortlist of what works A clear, honest chapter on the signs it's time to bring in more support — and who to call Written for carers, not therapists, Behind the Behaviour is the toolkit to keep beside you on the hardest days. You don't need to get this perfect. You just need to keep showing up.