What On Earth?

'If he wants to spend summer arguing with a bin, I won't stop him' Chancellor Rachael Reeves on Nigel Farage The Clacton-on-Sea by-election is set for 13 August. Two men will battle it out. Only one will win. Let's make it the bin. Read Count Binface's manifesto for fixing Britain. 'Count Binface will be Prime Minister. It's only a matter of time' Independent Greetings, life-form! My name is Count Binface. I am not Nigel Farage. I am an intergalactic space warrior, leader of the Recyclons and British election veteran. And as part of my overarching mission to control the entire omniverse, I have come to conquer Clacton-on-Sea. It's not that I want to do this - you need me to. Because the one thing everyone can agree on right now is that Earth is in an absolute state. You earthlings need a plan. Let's make your planet Count. So settle down, grab a 99 flake (pledged to always be 99p), and let's make your planet Count. 'Move over, Nigel - it's time for the Bin Supremacy' Stewart Lee 'Count Binface in his steely, glimmering, elusiveness is both a galactically intimidating - and curiously heartening symbol of the future of British politics - #believeinthebin' Rory Stewart 'Count Binface is out of this world' Emily Maitlis