The World's First Useless Superhero Academy

Welcome to Blunderbolt Academy, the world's first training school for… well… "gifted" individuals with completely useless superpowers. Meet Arlo "Almost" Anderson, a 15-year-old whose power is almost useful but never helpful: He can turn invisible—but only in total darkness. If there's even 1% light, he just looks like a confused mime stuck in a blackout. At Blunderbolt Academy, Arlo meets the most spectacularly un-super bunch of heroes ever accidentally created: Tomato Titan – can turn any tomato into a slightly bigger tomato. Miss Whisperwave – can talk to plants… but they only respond with insults. DJ SleepMix – any song he sings automatically becomes a lullaby and knocks people out. Static Stanley – permanently charged with static electricity; his hugs are deadly… but not in a cool superhero way. The Human USB – can identify any charging cable in the dark… and gets bullied by wireless devices. They train under Principal Thunderpants (yes, that's his legal name), a retired superhero who once saved the world from a malfunctioning popcorn machine. He believes that "Every superpower is useful… if you squint hard enough and lower your expectations." Life is fun, chaotic, and harmless — until one day, all real superheroes go on a vacation cruise sponsored by a villain as a trap. The world is left defenseless, and the villain unleashes disaster after disaster. Now the fate of humanity lies in the hands of the Useless Squad — who have never passed a single test, can't control their powers, and once burned down the cafeteria by trying to microwave soup for 14 hours. Can this hilariously hopeless team accidentally save the world? Or will they sleep-lullaby, static-shock, plant-insult, and tomato-throw Earth into even bigger chaos? This book is a rollercoaster of humor, heart, and heroic accidents — proving that even the "useless" can be unexpectedly amazing.