As the Underworld Turns

What does a forty-year-old former child star do when she finds out she’s a Demon? A sitcom, of course. Age is just a number unless you’re an actress of a certain age trying to make a comeback in La La Land. Back in the day, I was the child star of the hit show Camp Bites. Today, I’m still living it down. After a disastrous soap opera audition and getting fired from a TV show for not having a bodacious enough backside, one would think I’d be smart enough to go into real estate. Nope. Just found out from the rudest, meanest, and hottest guy alive that I’m a Demon. The jerk, also a Demon, goes by the name Abaddon—Abe to his friends. I call him Dick. He’s come from the Underworld to protect me—insert laugh track—since there’s a bounty on my head. Dick is not a welcome addition to my midlife madness. However, he won’t go away, and now he’s my new boss. Fine. Whatever. All I ever wanted to do in my life was pretend. I can pretend to get along with Dick. I can pretend that I’m not wildly attracted to him. Not sure I can pretend I’m human anymore, or that a supernatural assassin isn’t trying to cancel me, but I’m going to fake it until I make it. Or I get killed. As the Underworld turns upside down, so have the days of my life.