Different Wiring, Same Heart

For neurodiverse couples, traditional relationship advice often falls flat. When one or both partners are autistic, have ADHD, or process the world differently, the standard guidance to simply communicate better or be more empathetic misses the fundamental challenge: you are speaking different neurological languages. In Different Wiring, Same Heart, renowned communication strategist Julian Langston provides the translation guide neurodiverse couples have been waiting for. Drawing on decades of therapeutic experience, Langston offers a compassionate, non-pathologizing approach that honors both partners' authentic ways of being while providing concrete tools for connection. This comprehensive guide helps couples understand the predictable flashpoints where different wiring creates conflict, from communication breakdowns and sensory mismatches to executive function gaps and emotional expression differences. Langston provides practical protocols for daily life, including structured check-ins that accommodate different processing speeds, conflict de-escalation techniques, sensory mapping exercises, and frameworks for navigating intimacy when nervous systems have different needs. Whether you are newly discovering neurodivergence in your relationship or have been navigating these differences for years, this book offers validation, clarity, and hope. You will learn to build accommodation systems that work for both partners, develop a shared language for discussing needs without blame, design living spaces that honor different sensory requirements, and deepen intimacy by celebrating difference rather than trying to erase it. Different Wiring, Same Heart is essential reading for autistic and neurotypical partnerships, ADHD and non-ADHD couples, and relationships where both partners are neurodivergent in different ways. It is also invaluable for therapists, counselors, and anyone seeking to understand how love works across neurological difference. Stop fighting your wiring. Start building bridges between your worlds. Discover how two people with different operating systems can create a relationship where both partners truly thrive.