Emergency Exits

“Unfortunately, the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the victim tries to leave; that is when he or she is most likely to be killed by the abuser. Homicide is one of the top 10 causes of death for women aged 20-44.” (US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). In the book Emergency Exits: Leaving Abusive Relationships Safely, Dr. Sonia Martin identifies several significant reasons why many abused women remain in intimate partner violent relationships. The most extraordinary contributing factors for women staying are cultural conditioning, religious indoctrination, financial hardship, due to unemployment, and or under-education. Women wanting to leave intimate partner violent marriages might struggle with the cultural programming that normalizes violence against women and girls, the mindset that reenforces male’s dominance. Another barrier is the fear factor is another major phenomenon that prevents abused women in the process of leaving violent relationships. Additionally, the psychological undertone of fears of being judged by others, such as church leaders, family and friends. Battered women struggle with self-blame, feelings of low self-worth, ashamed of been judged for the failure of their marriages. Many abused women are concerned about the risk of financial hardship, the need for food, finding affordable housing, and a lack of money to support their children. Furthermore, Dr. Sonia Martin explores the best strategies to utilize in addressing intimate partner violence and how battered women can safely leave abusive relationships. She identified some essential steps that women can take to initiate to escape abuse. By engaging in spiritual practices of prayer, acting courageously with inner strength, resilience; reaching out to social support networks, and obtaining professional help for leaving safely. It is essential that women actively participate in individual, group therapies and/or DV counseling, to gain the tools and coping skills to manage psychological trauma, including utilizing the effective tools of mindfulness meditation, and self-care that help to promote emotional healing, enhancing personal growth and empowerment.