How to live with difficult mother

Telling the story of a life is no easy task. Much less when that life has been marked, from its earliest memories, by the complexity of a difficult mother. This is not a story of hatred, nor of victimization, nor even of revenge. It is the story of an "I" woman, who went through childhood, youth, and adulthood under the shadow of a mother who was, at the same time, tower and wall, lighthouse, and storm. My mother was neither cruel nor perverse. She was, rather, a woman crossed by her own wounds, a generation that did not learn to name love without control or concern without criticism. She raised me between harsh silences and invisible demands, between unspoken rules and conditional affections. And I, like so many daughters, tried "for years" to deserve her. In this book, I explore the corners of my memory: the looks that replaced hugs, the times I wished for another mother, and also the times I understood that she didn't know how to do it better. I walk through the days when I promised myself not to be like her, and through those others when I found myself repeating her gestures without wanting to. But not everything is bitter. There is a kind of tenderness, rough and difficult, that is also built between broken women. Because in the end, when time and health began to escape her, I was the one who was there. The daughter who took care of her mother in her last breath. And it was in that stretch, when there was nothing left to discuss or demand, that I learned to forgive her, and perhaps, also to love her with less rage. This book is for those who grew up without the gentleness they deserved. For those who carry inherited guilt, unanswered questions, and loves that hurt. It is an attempt to put into words an experience that so many other people live in silence. It is not a guide, nor a solution. It is merely my truth. And if someone recognizes themselves in it, then perhaps all of this has been worth it.