Modern Bollocks

Modern Bollocks: How Everything Got Too Fuckin' Clever for Its Own Good by Owen Croft (Big Bastard Bob) Listen up, you poor bastard. Big Bastard Bob, a 58-year-old Yorkshireman who still refuses to update Windows 10 and thinks "the cloud" is a weather forecast gone wrong, is here to hand the modern world its arse on a plate. In this full-fat, 18-certificate rant-fest, Bob tears strips off the over-complicated, privacy-invading, subscription-requiring nonsense that's turned everyday life into a beeping nightmare. Cars that nag you like your mum on steroids. Phones that know when you're havin' a tom tit. Smartwatches that judge your sleep worse than your missus judges your kebab habit. Fridges that grass you up for eatin' the cheese. Meters that cut you off for 63 pence owed since 2017. TVs that demand a second mortgage to watch your local footy. Cashier-less shops that charge you £46 for a packet of ham and accuse you of theft. And don't get him started on digital IDs, programmable money that'll lock your wages if you've bought too many pints, or the coming dystopia of self-driving cars that'll drive you straight to the nick for moonin' the darts team in 2008. Soaked in pure Yorkshire rage and twisted humour, Modern Bollocks is the book for anyone who's ever wanted to shove a QR code where the sun don't shine or tell a parking app to sod off. If you're sick of forms, updates, and algorithms runnin' your life, this one's for you. Pour a strong one, hide your phone (the nosy little git's probably listenin'), and prepare to shout "EXACTLY!" till your neighbours complain. The modern world is takin' the piss. Big Bastard Bob is handin' it back – one glorious, foul-mouthed chapter at a time.