Not a Swan

For four years, I was his trophy. After her world implodes in a single night, Élise de Berthier — a French woman a long way from the gilded life she just lost — pushes open the door of a small Brooklyn trattoria in the rain. A quiet Italian chef. A piece of warm focaccia. A second chance to remember her own name. "Eat. You'll feel a little better once you do." In the steam and clatter of a New York restaurant kitchen, Élise begins the slow work of coming back to herself — peeling garlic, learning the knife, and unlearning four years of apologizing for her body and her hunger. This is not a story about being saved by love. It is the quiet, luminous story of one woman's recovery — from disordered eating, from years of gaslighting and control — and her steady return to a life that is finally her own. At its heart, this is a body-positive story of recovery and self-acceptance — and of the unexpected found family that gathers in the warmth of a small Brooklyn kitchen. Tonight, this is enough. Just this. "This Is Me" and "Come Here" — two original songs by the author accompany this novel. On YouTube, the characters you've just met come to life in lyric videos — free to watch. Subscribe to Under Polaris (@Soonjin_0) to see them. And beyond these companion songs, Soonjin writes original music of every kind — find it all by searching Soonjin on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, and YouTube Music. Content notes: Depictions of disordered eating, diet pill abuse, emotional abuse, gaslighting, suicidal ideation, and a drug-facilitated sexual assault (a secondary character, recounted, not depicted). No on-page violence or explicit content.