Seasons Without Reason

Seasons Without Reason: Humorous Short Stories & Snarky Snippets By Dean Burkey From dark humor to zany, from highbrow to slapstick, author/comedian Dean Burkey creates comical escapades with two dozen-plus short stories/essays starting with the title piece about a wacky world indeed and ending with two scientists striving to discover the secret to comedy. Between these entertaining tales, fast-food's melodramatic, thugs peg the voice of a cartoon mouse as an informant, zombies eat bacon, Einstein offers fitness advice, a tightrope walker in distress learns an insight into himself at the worst possible time, John Napier discovers the decimal point, and much more. Take a stress break, a mini-vacation, and let yourself embrace the bizarre, the funny jokes, and the wacky worlds of "Seasons Without Reason. " Table of Contents: "Seasons Without Reason" (A Wacky World Indeed) "Fast Food Follies" (A Heated World of Grub Gone Wild) "The Mouse that Squeaked" (Is a Certain Cartoon Mouse Really a Rat?) "Breakfast of the Living Dead" (That's One Tasty Apocalypse) "Exercise = MC2" (Albert Einstein, Fitness Guru) "Turning Point" (Updated version of the story that originally appeared in "Juggler's World") "We Get the Point!" (A Mathematician Makes His Mark in History) "Woo-Hoo! Happy Birthday to Me!" (Did Her Boyfriend Forget Her Birthday?) "Are Aliens from a Superior Race Stealing Our Laundry?" (Hey UFOs, stay Away from My Clothes!) "The Five Stages of Grief for Burnt Waffles" (A Template for Dealing with Culinary Tragedies) "My Stolen Step-Ins" (Those Kids Made Her Go Commando) "The Twelve-Step Program for People with Overdue Library Books" (Every Journey Begins with the First Step) "Brat-Sitter" (Who's Really in Charge?) "How to Sell Lots and Lots of Angel Scout Cookies" (Don't Ask Why, Just Buy Or Cry!) "Origins of Golf Lingo" (Oh, a Different Kind of Hooker) "Catch 23" (Another Catch to Add to the List) "First Fight" (A Couple Enjoys Their First Altercation) "Philosophy of Chips" (Even the Cheapest of Snacks Has Value) "You Look Tasty!" (One Man's Journey from Veganism to Cannibalism) "No Deposit, ..." (Why Don't Deserted Isles Have Desserts?) "Cannibal Conundrum" (Befriend Him? Or Fry Him?) "Seven Dozen and Three Years Ago" (President Lincoln Receives Unsolicited Comedy Advice) "Origins of Stand-Up Comedy Lingo" (Something Funny's Going On Around Here) "A Dribble Glass Can Be a Beautiful Thing" (How Classic Comedy Gags Could Have Altered History) "Art Schmart" (Work of Art? Glorified doodle? Or Worse? Much, Much Worse) "The Secret to Comedy" (Can Alec and Kirk Uncover the Secret of the Ages Before Losing Funding?) Excerpts & Snippets: Zombies love bacon. They may be brain dead. But they're not stupid. Plus, with all the prowling they do; they don't need to worry about chol