The Underworld Custody Battle: A Love Story so toxic, it changed the Seasons

?? The Underworld Custody Battle: A Love Story So Toxic, It Changed the Seasons by Homer Sapien Move over, Romeo and Juliet — this love story features fewer balconies and way more pomegranate seeds. In The Underworld Custody Battle, Homer Sapien spins a darkly comedic tale of obsession, overbearing moms, and a marital arrangement so contentious, it literally freezes the Earth every year. Meet Persephone: bright, blooming, goddess-next-door. Meet Hades: brooding bachelor of the Underworld with serious commitment issues and a suspicious interest in horticulture. One impulsive kidnapping later, and boom — we've got ourselves a divine custody arrangement that makes family court look like a picnic. With Demeter turning Earth into a cold wasteland every time her daughter's on her "dad week," this myth isn't just ancient — it's the origin of seasonal depression. Why should you dive into this mythological mess? Finally understand why winter exists (spoiler: it's mom rage). Witness the original "It's complicated" relationship status. Perfect for fans of dark romance, dysfunctional families, and immortal pettiness. Features more drama than a holiday dinner with in-laws. And when you're done watching gods ruin climate patterns for love, check out more disasters from the divine pen of Homer Sapien, including: Hercules: Muscle, Madness, and Twelve Terrible Ideas — because brawn rarely comes with a plan. God Complex — family therapy would've saved Olympus. The Odd-yssey of Odysseus — one man's epic journey to avoid asking for directions. Homer Sapien: turning myth into mayhem, one disaster at a time.