What the Animals Say

We’re not Brazil, we’re Northern Ireland? F--k that. We could be Brazil if we gave enough of a f--k. Two lads wait for a ferry back to Belfast. Jimmy is a struggling actor chasing the break that never comes. Eddie is a celebrity footballer who, despite being Protestant, is the captain of Celtic. Former classmates in Belfast, they reconnect over football, Father Ted and the staunchly unionist culture they grew up in. What begins as banter spirals into confrontation as buried resentments, betrayal and violence rise to the surface. Provocative and hilarious, David Ireland’s (Cyprus Avenue, Ulster American and The Fifth Step) explosive debut play is a portrait of two men trapped by the stories they tell themselves and each other. First performed in 2009 at Òran Mór, Glasgow, as part of their legendary A Play, A Pie and A Pint season, and newly urgent in an era of renewed political tribalism and sectarianism, What the Animals Say is where it all began . . . This edition was published to coincide with the Finborough Theatre production in September 2026.