Disease and Dishonor

It takes more strength and will to survive severe mental illness than it does to become a Navy SEAL. I am one of the few that has survived both experiences. On my 24th birthday I became a newly minted SEAL. Within months I had lost track of reality entirely, becoming mixed up in secret communities, psychiatric wards and showdowns with police. When my mentor and friend was killed in the attack on Benghazi during my mind bending mania, I snapped. Not knowing whether I was dead or alive, hunted by hallucinations and preyed on by delusion. Some ultra powerful government organization had selected me to become a super soldier and I would die before I quit. Stealing a tow truck, breaking out of a holding cell, sending a bomb threat, there was no limit to what I would do. For months I lived as an operator in a clandestine selection process for an organization that only existed in my mind. Certain things in this story only exist in my own mind and it is up to you to determine what really happened to me. It is the history of my perspective and it is as real to me as reality is to you. The story is as raw as it is true with all the gory bits of madness. My aim in writing is to show you that you’re not alone. If you’re severely mentally ill you’re just like me and nothing like me at the same time. My friend, you are unique but you are not alone. I am fighting this wretched darkness with you, sword in hand.