Ghosted: A Masterclass in Vanishing Like You Never Existed

Are you tired of getting ghosted? Sick of waiting for that text back that will never come? Ever wondered how you, too, can master the art of emotional escape artistry? Good news, coward! This book is here to validate your worst instincts and teach you how to disappear like a true professional. Whether you’ve been ghosted, have done the ghosting, or just love chaotic dating disasters, this book is your hilarious, deeply unhinged guide to modern romance at its absolute worst. Inside, you’ll learn: ?? The Ghosting Spectrum: From “Oops, Forgot to Reply” to “Federal Witness Protection Disappearance.” ?? Microghosting: How to vanish just enough to make someone question their entire self-worth. ?? The Five Stages of Being Ghosted: Including "Hoping They’re in a Coma" and "Guess I’ll Ghost Someone Else to Restore Balance." ?? How to Reverse-Ghost a Ghoster: (You thought YOU could disappear first? THINK AGAIN.) ?? The Petty Art of Haunting: How to like their Instagram post from 2017 just to unnerve them. ?? Closure? Who Needs It? Featuring Ghost-Proof Text Templates that will make them cry in their car. With cutthroat humor, unhinged pettiness, and disturbingly relatable dating horror stories, this book is part survival guide, part revenge manual, and 100% guaranteed to make you laugh instead of cry over that person who “forgot to text back.”