How to Be an Influencer (Without a Soul): A Step-by-Step Guide to Fame, Followers, and Mild Narcissism

Are you tired of watching people become famous for eating cereal on TikTok while you quietly scream into your phone's front camera? Do you dream of turning your chronic oversharing into a revenue stream? Welcome to "How to Be an Influencer (Without a Soul)" — the ultimate step-by-step guide to becoming internet famous, even if you have no discernible talent, purpose, or indoor lighting setup. This brutally honest and absurdly serious satire exposes the glitter-covered underbelly of influencer culture, teaching you how to build a personal brand, master social media algorithms, fake authenticity with alarming precision, and monetize your personality like a mildly charismatic MLM overlord. Whether you're aspiring to go viral on Instagram, dominate TikTok, or just pretend to be relatable while hawking questionable supplements, this book walks you through every cringey, ego-inflating, borderline dystopian step of the way. Written in the style of a self-help manual but dripping with dark humor, this guide is perfect for anyone curious about the world of social media influencers — or already stuck in it. Think of it as the influencer bible for the chronically online, the mildly delusional, and the algorithmically ambitious. Fame is just one poorly-lit selfie away. Why wait?