Hydras & Hot Flashes

Meet Diana Delaney, a nondescript, middle aged, talentless housewife and school office administrator. Diana's got a new job: one she didn't apply for. Monster Hunter. Now she's got to save New Orleans, one beast at a time. In polite circles, it's called 'The Change of Life.' I rather liked that. Too bad I had no idea it was going to be preceded by so many actual life changes. There were almost too many to list, but when had that ever stopped me from trying? Like…I lost my husband to the woman I thought was my best friend and then tried to find my happy during a solo getaway at a lakeside cottage. That whole trip went sideways when I found a banshee and Attie instead. From that moment on, the monsters of other people's dreams became the beasts of my reality. When my daughter graduated and left for college, I should've been thinking about hobbies and retirement, but thanks to the aforementioned changes, I was building a business, taking up swordplay and creating a monster directory. Most of the constant action made me even forget I was getting older. I liked that part. I liked my new friends, my monster hunting crew. I even liked saving people, which was the scary part. Best of all, I was good at it. Too good. Despite my better judgment and possibly out of sheer habit, I'd saved my now ex-husband…twice. I thought I was unshakeable, but I might've been a little stirred when I thought if I could handle a sword and a banshee, I could handle anything. But I hadn't anticipated what might happen when my mother, the woman who makes a hobby out or wrecking my plans, showed up unannounced and uninvited each day when my daughter came back for the holidays, beating my first hot flash by mere seconds. I thought it was a white hot rage at my mother but it turns out, it was mostly perimenopause. That's why Kenna and I decided to go to Attie's cottages, back to where it all began. That's why we thought we'd have a girl trip, to connect with nature, and Attie, before Kenna started her third year of college. Historically speaking, I should've been prepared for this whole excursion to go off the rails, but this time it was by epic proportions even by my standards. There was a monster on the loose, and my mother. Yes, two separate beasts. One could be appeased by blood. The other could be plied with alcohol and distracted by equally fresh meat. That's where Derek came in. I asked him, "How would you like to spend a weekend away in a lakeside cottage with a hot older woman and her family?" I believed in truth in advertising. And since I seemed to be running several degrees warmer than usual, that truth was brutal. Somehow, I had to kill one beast and tame another. Oh, and my friends were pressuring me to make this happen before the full moon because, according to them, that was when the witches came to gather at the lake for summer solstice. Just what I needed: more pressure. Nothing would ever be the same again.