Learning I Belong

What does it really take to belong when the world keeps telling you that you don't? M.A. Sterling thought she knew the answer. Growing up in poverty on Arizona farms, she survived a childhood marked by government cheese dinners, her mother's cruelty, and her grandfather's abuse. Through it all, her father's voice was her anchor: "You're tougher than you know, and you put your pants on the same way as everyone else." When her father died at forty, twenty-year-old Sterling was left without her only protector, raising three children in a failing marriage while carrying secrets that would poison her relationships for decades. At twenty-nine, with $600 and desperate hope, she loaded her kids into a car and drove 1,200 miles toward a man she'd met online—risking everything for the chance to build the life her children deserved. Learning I Belong chronicles Sterling's journey from cotton fields to corporate boardrooms, revealing the hidden costs of climbing professional ladders while carrying childhood trauma. As a high school dropout who became a Vice President, she exposes the daily reality of imposter syndrome, workplace anxiety, and the exhausting work of pretending you belong when every voice from your past whispers that you don't. This isn't a rags-to-riches story with a neat ending. Sterling's marriage faces crisis. Family chooses politics over truth. Success doesn't cure the 4:30 AM panic attacks or silence her mother's critical voice. Instead, this memoir shows what real healing looks like—messy, ongoing, and requiring the courage to keep showing up for yourself even when it's hard. Through pivotal moments—a cottage retreat that saved her sanity, the Christmas ornament that revealed her children's grief, boardroom presentations where she fought to maintain eye contact—Sterling discovers that belonging isn't something you earn through achievement or perfect choices. It's something you recognize you always carried. In this raw and compelling memoir, you'll find: How childhood trauma follows us into every relationship and professional space The hidden dynamics of blended families and the courage required to start over Why carrying family secrets for 45 years nearly destroyed her—and how breaking silence finally set her free The ongoing work of breaking generational cycles while honoring the voices that still guide us What it means to build professional success while managing anxiety, self-doubt, and the fear of being discovered as a fraud Perfect for readers who connected with Educated by Tara Westover, The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, and Untamed by Glennon Doyle. Sterling writes with the hard-won wisdom of someone who traveled from believing she was fundamentally broken to understanding she was always worthy of love. Her father's voice echoes through every page, reminding us that we're all stronger than we know—and that sometimes the most revolutionary thing you can do is finally come home to yourself. Your place at the table was always yours. This book will help you see it.