Size

Pete: You'd think a well-endowed guy like me would be thrilled to have the largest equipment in town. I am, yet I won't deny there are downsides. In high school, all the kids wanted a look — and more. Later, I received irresistible offers to star in movies — the kind of films with pizza delivery boys but no scripts. I'm gay, and there are always guys offering to pleasure me or enrich me. Yet I know that no one is interested in me; they only want the biggest part of me. Everything in my life revolves around the side of my penis. Size can't be everything — or can it? Ben: Some guys have everything; I envy them. I must have the smallest dick in the Western hemisphere, and my insufficiency permeates my life. In high school, the other boys laughed me out of the locker room. When I went to college, men and women laughed me out of their bedrooms. Once out of the closet, I worshipped well-hung men — but they won't talk with me. I've found a solution. There's a surgeon who pioneered penis transplants, grafting a dead guy's cock onto men with penile cancer. I'll pay him to give me the largest manhood in town. And if the donor isn't already dead — well, that's his problem.