The Uncoachables

Two years after winning the Ballon d'Or and shocking the world by immediately retiring, John Baxter is a man adrift. His quiet life is a hell of boredom and unfulfilled potential, the glorious roar of Old Trafford replaced by a "hum of utter despair". The greatest footballing brain of his generation is slowly going mad coaching a team of nine-year-olds who are more interested in their shoelaces than the offside rule. His life is violently interrupted by a desperate plea from his friend Mick, the landlord of The Red Lion pub. The pub's Sunday-league team, the Red Lion Rovers, are on the verge of folding. They are a collection of hungover plumbers, bouncers, and part-time psychopaths; a team of lovable losers known as the "worst team in the world". Reluctantly, Bax agrees to take on the impossible job. Facing a squad of the uncoachable, the unwilling, and the unfit, he must throw out the professional rulebook he learned under Sir Alex Ferguson and invent his own chaotic philosophy. Through unconventional and hilarious methods like the infamous "pig chase", he forges this band of misfits into a unified, giant-killing force. Their impossible, miraculous run in the FA Cup will test them, break them, and ultimately lead them to a showdown at Wembley, proving that even the most hopeless of teams can achieve glory if they are prepared to fight for the man next to them.