What Am I Even Doing? (No Seriously, Someone Tell Me)

?? CONGRATULATIONS! YOU’RE HAVING A FULL-BLOWN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS. ?? No worries. Instead of actually dealing with it, just buy this book and pretend that’s progress. From the deeply unqualified mind behind every bad decision you’ve ever made comes "What Am I Even Doing? (No Seriously, Someone Tell Me)," a deeply unhelpful guide to overanalyzing your entire existence, making terrible impulse purchases, and aggressively avoiding reality. Inside these pages, you’ll find zero useful advice, but you WILL find: ?? An emotional breakdown disguised as a shopping spree—because spending $500 on throw pillows is easier than going to therapy. ?? The five stages of buying a yoga mat and never using it—because nothing says “I’m fixing my life” like an unused fitness prop collecting dust in the corner. ?? A complete breakdown of the “Should I Move to a Cabin in the Woods?” fantasy—spoiler: You will not survive without DoorDash. ?? An investigation into why people keep applying for grad school—spoiler: It’s because reality is terrifying. ?? A crisis bingo card—because why suffer privately when you can turn your spiraling into a fun game? If you’ve ever had an intense desire to start over, quit your job, buy a plane ticket to nowhere, and completely reinvent yourself for no reason, this book was written for you. Will this book fix your life? Absolutely not. Will it validate your terrible choices? 100%.