Born Wise

The beloved child therapist behind Nurtured First has good news for parents: you already know what your children need. Jessica VanderWier has helped millions of parents better understand their children and enjoy parenting again. But lately, she’s noticed a concerning trend: parents are struggling more than ever—and so are their kids. Rising anxiety, screen addiction, academic delays, and emotional outbursts leave families feeling overwhelmed, yet quick fixes like permissive parenting, and harsh discipline don’t work and don’t feel good. What if fixing isn’t the answer? What if children are already telling us what they need, and parents must simply learn to listen? What if childhood has changed, but what children need has not? In Born Wise, VanderWier shares her simple, game-changing reframe for parents: children are born wise. From the moment they arrive, children know what they need to thrive—to connect, play, and be vulnerable. All they need from their parents is the willingness to shift away from fear-based fixing, and to restore, encourage, and nurture this inherent wisdom within them. Weaving stories, research, and practical tools, VanderWier shows parents how to interpret and respond to the unmet needs in their child’s defiance, anger, and tantrums; to become dependable leaders in their families; and to create environments that set their children up for a lifetime of emotional resilience and confidence. Ultimately, Born Wise invites parents into a different relationship with their children, one that sees them not as problems to be fixed, but as wise humans to be understood.