The Carousel of Beliefs

"You are what you believe," said Calliope. "But what if I don't believe ANYTHING?" asked Joseph. Rabid beliefs getting you down? Confused when agents of Certainty draw a fake moustache on the face of Truth? Afraid the horses on the Carousel of Beliefs are saddled with conspiracy theories? Take a ride with Joseph Mordechai Doubt on his journey to find something to believe in. For Joseph, you see, is a young man with no beliefs. Nada. Zilch. If beliefs were turds, Joseph would be as empty as a toilet bowl after the second flush. Which interests Pono Nui, who is either a con man or the Devil. Who makes Joseph's journey a lot like swimming upstream in a sewer while unfaithful beliefs like Happiness, Friendship, Free Will, and Fairness crap all over him. Even believing in Love with Cherry Givens, the hot biologist and nymphomaniac, seems like Hell. Which makes Joseph even more desperate to believe Calliope Pennyworth, ayahuasca purveyor and operator of the Carousel of Beliefs. Which leads Joseph to Dr. Platonic's Love Spa and Celibacy Clinic, a strange place to find Cherry, and a stranger place for an apocalyptic battle of beliefs. May the best belief win. An unholy mix of Tom Robbins, Christopher Moore, and Voltaire without the French accent, The Carousel of Beliefs is a satire you can believe in. At your own peril, of course.