Connection Crash

We’re in the midst of an adolescent mental health crisis. Anxiety, depression and loneliness are at an all-time high. And the over-reliance on dopamine-driving, attention grabbing, and socially isolating apps and algorithms via our smartphones is only reinforcing their disconnections. But the latest science from the emerging field of interpersonal neurobiology reveals two long-overlooked truths about human beings: One, that our relationships are essential to our health; and two, that consistent co-regulation is the most reliable way to experience relational safety in an unpredictable world. In Connection Crash, relational therapist and community educator, Jake Ernst makes the claim that co-regulation, the process of feeling safe through connection with others whereby one calm nervous system calms another, is the missing piece in our quest to protect the future of our children. When we experience co-regulation consistently, we build an internal blueprint for how to manage stress, emotions, and relationships by being in the presence of another safe human. In today’s tech-driven world, we face a phenomenon Jake calls the Connection Crash, whereby the absence of co-regulation and the presence of artificial connection results in distraction, disconnection, and distress. Connection Crash happens when we suppress our natural social instincts to connect with others and instead turn to easy answers and quick-fix alternatives that offer short-term comfort. Jake shares how we’ve become driven by distraction, distress, and disconnection—what he call The Three D’s—and describes how we can reverse our collective Connection Crash by using the power of co-regulation with ourselves and adolescents. Filled with research, case studies, exercises and scripts, Jake will teach readers how to support regulation through our stress responses, manage our thoughts and emotions, and help build a reliable sense of self and relational safety with the people with ourselves and our children so they’re better prepared to have healthy, long-lasting relationships.