Faith like a Ketchup Seed

"Faith like a Ketchup Seed" It's not the faith of a mustard seed, but it still guides me through life and tastes great on hot dogs. By The Dean James Version, the author of "Holy Laughter!" Essays, blog posts, Bible studies, devotions, short stories, stand-up routines, even a skit and a sci-fi tale. Family-friendly. Sunday school-friendly. Even pulpit-friendly! The Table of Contents: "Proverbs, Parables, & Ponderings" "A Godly, Christian Way" "Thank God I'm Not God" "The Water-Walking Shuffle" "Divinity Is Hard!" "The Dissected Body of Christ" "Second Baptist Church" "God's Biggest Mistake" "Too Lazy to Feed the Lions" "The Mediocre Samaritan" "What Would Jesus Do?" "Fast Food Royalty" "Sometimes I Pray with a British Accent" "How to Sanctify Unsavory Songs" "Facebook Fun" "You're a Christian What?!" "Breakfast Cereals of the Bible and the People Who Love Them" "Satan's Cereals" "Repossessed" "Forward Phobia: Evil Emails" "Who Was the Greatest Comedian in the Bible?" "The Comedy Concept Behind 'Holy Laughter!'" "Divine Definitions" "Hey Dude! Hey!" "Stalker Almighty" "Across the Multiverse" "What If People in the Bible Had Their Own Games?" "May I Ask You an Intensely Personal Question?" "Upside-Down Sharks Prove the Existence of God" "Lessons from the Yard" Church Skit: "Interview with Jesus" "For Best Results" "An Ice Memoir (One Molecule Can Make a Difference)" "Jojo: 3:16" "Why Do I Want to Walk on Water?" "Life's Most Profound Question" Excerpts: Does being a writer give me a God complex? I saith unto thee no, but I doth wish thou shalt have no other writers before me; and thou shalt not take my name in vain. Walking on water -- is that so much to ask? Some lakes are so polluted now it's hard not to. I tried being my own god. But I gotta tell ya': Divinity is hard! I don't know how God does it. If Jesus had a Facebook page, He'd friend each and every one of us. Sure, it sounds wrong. But the TV preacher told me as long as I tithe I can pretty much do whatever I want. Can we really fulfill all our minimum daily requirements with just one bowl? If that's the case, let's eat a bowlful and go back to bed. We're done for the day. I must have the worst friends in the world. They send me evil emails that say, if I don't forward them, to at least five friends within five minutes, my spleen will explode. Ponder the platypus for a moment or two. And remember, those existed long before nuclear accidents, cigarettes, and cell phone towers. Unfortunately, for some it's too late. For others, it's too early. But for Goldilocks, its just right. Contemplating the fact that God sees her every deed, hears her every word, and knows her every thought, Maria threw her notepad on the table. "Either You order the chicken noodle; or heal a leper; or I'm having You thrown out of here!" Pharaoh dominates when playing "Pyramid". And Moses rules with "The Power of Ten". Why do we think God will be more likely to answer our prayers favorably the more we furrow our brows? Lots of laughs for less than a gallon or two of gas. Parody, satire, silliness. Some strong theological points. Mostly comedy. The skit gets serious; and so does what my pastor calls the strangest telling of the Gospel ever: "An Ice Memoir (One Molecule Can Make a Difference)". Learn my theories that prove the existence of God. Wonder why an ice cube can make you cry. Find out why I'm obsessed with wanting to walk on water. Laugh guilt-free. If you enjoy "Holy Laughter!", you'll love this too. Good, clean fun. And I mean that in a Godly, Christian way. Blessings & Joy, The Dean James Version