I Kept Functioning - Until I Didn’t - A Personal Journey Through Toxic Relationships - and Back to Myself

For a long time, I was the person who "handled things." I showed up, performed, solved, smoothed over. I kept functioning—and everyone called it normal. But certain relationships didn't just exhaust me. They changed me. The charm that pulled me in became noise that drowned me out. Affection became a system of rules. Loyalty turned into leverage. I started apologizing for needs I hadn't even spoken out loud, until doubt felt like my default setting. This memoir follows the inner timeline many people recognize but rarely name: the early unease, the slow self-erasure, the guilt that keeps you loyal, the shame that keeps you quiet, and the moment you realize that love should not feel like survival. It's also a story about what comes next—no-contact decisions, family dynamics, rebuilding trust in your own perception, and learning what healthy connection actually feels like. This book is for anyone who has ever thought: Why am I always the one trying harder? Why do I feel guilty for setting boundaries? Why do I doubt myself even when I know the truth? Not a textbook. Not a checklist. A lived, honest journey—toward clarity, self-respect, and relationships that don't require you to disappear.