Manifesting Mediocrity

You've heard it all before: "Think positive!" "Make a vision board!" "Ask, believe, receive!" But after all the affirmations, candles, and Pinterest quotes, where are you now? Still broke, still single, still crying into pancit canton at 2 AM. Welcome to Manifesting Mediocrity, the self-help book for people who are completely done with self-help. In this unhinged, laugh-out-loud roast of manifestation culture, Jay Dijkstra takes every scammy piece of advice you've ever been fed—Law of Attraction, toxic positivity, abundance mindset—and exposes it for what it really is: arts and crafts for emotionally unstable adults. With every chapter, Jay starts with terrible advice (the kind you've probably tried), spirals into chaotic rants about modern life, and then, somehow, drops a piece of truth so sharp it stings. Along the way, you'll find: Fake worksheets that make you laugh more than they help. Idiot-proof FAQs that answer questions no one should have asked. Case studies of failure straight from Jay's own embarrassing life. Punchline closers that will make you laugh, cringe, and maybe feel a little too seen. This is not the kind of book that will make you rich or fix your love life. But it will make you laugh at the chaos, rethink why you fell for all those "good vibes only" scams, and remind you that surviving mediocrity is sometimes the real miracle. Perfect for Millennials and Gen Z who've been burned by the self-help industry, Manifesting Mediocrity is your permission slip to stop pretending, embrace the mess, and roast your own life until it feels lighter. Because the universe doesn't care. But this book does—sort of.