Not My Shame

A testament to the power of female courage and strength, this intensely personal memoir reveals how one woman confronted her dark past and broke free from lifelong trauma bonds. Not content with only healing herself, author Martina Zangger has dedicated her life to helping other sexual assault survivors as they navigate both their healing journeys and the complexities of the criminal justice system. Her frankness in narrating her startling life choices displays the potency of shedding shame and the freedom that follows. Sexually abused by her grandfather and uncle as a small child, Martina’s early years became the foundation for a life of struggles and wrong turns. Like many victim survivors, Martina kept her trauma a secret—a suppression that led her into sex work and ultimately into the grip of the notorious cult of the Indian guru Rajneesh. For decades, Martina believed she was a magnet for abusers; that the sexual violence she endured was somehow her fault. But healing has allowed Martina to bravely face the tragedies she once buried, and to place the blame where it belongs. No longer silenced by shame, Martina’s greatest discovery is that love doesn’t have to be dangerous, that it can be respectful and kind instead. This is her story, and it is a story of hope for all survivors.