Starflunk Academy: Orientation Was a Mistake

Welcome to Starflunk Academy, the galaxy's lowest-ranked training school for heroes. Its motto? Excellence, probably. Its mission? To churn cadets through orientation with the efficiency of a broken vending machine. Jax Ryder thinks explosions are an acceptable form of ID. Tara Vex believes discipline is the only shield against chaos. Reef measures every disaster in probabilities too precise to be comforting. Klee barely whispers, but her silence cuts deeper than scores. Vixra shines because the system demands spectacle. Zim says almost nothing, letting his fedora and censored curses do the talking. Kai dances through glitches and jokes like he can laugh the universe back into shape. And Tyler, well, Tyler seems a little too perfect, like someone already filled in his test answers. Their first challenge? Survive orientation. That means cafeteria bricks mistaken for food, vending machines that file grievances, applause strips that punish silence, and a scoreboard that never blinks. The Academy doesn't want learning, it wants compliance. Every test is a parody of training, every triumph measured in receipts, every failure turned into policy. Hovering above it all is Jerry, the narrator who can't decide if he's a guide, a glitch, or a bored corporate intern. His brittle commentary sets the stage as the cadets stumble, argue, and improvise their way through liability clauses disguised as lessons. But something else is wrong. A critical error pulses in the system. A rat, literally, has sabotaged the workflow, and Control Labs, the faceless corporation behind Starflunk, doesn't want anyone to notice. Between the salt packets, chalk lines, confetti, and broken slogans, the cadets begin collecting their own trophies, proof that they're more than the labels stamped onto them. Orientation was supposed to sort them. Instead, it might break the program. Hilarious, surreal, and unexpectedly heartfelt, Starflunk Academy: Orientation Was a Mistake kicks off a sci-fi comedy saga about failure as survival, identity as rebellion, and teamwork forged in the most ridiculous crucible imaginable. Fans of Hitchhiker's Guide, Community, and The Office will find themselves right at home, if home had salt packets for relics and Jeff Crackers™ for meals.