Everything Hurts And I'm Dying

Aging isn't pretty. It isn't dignified. It isn't quiet. It's creaks, leaks, sneezes that sound like small explosions, and knees that pop like bubble wrap. From Michelle Ward, creator of the Cheap Therapy series, comes the laugh-out-loud survival guide every man over 50 never knew he needed. Packed with brutally honest, wildly funny takes on sagging bodies, suspicious moles, digestive fireworks, bathroom marathons, and technology tantrums, this book proves one thing: you're not alone — every guy you know is falling apart too. Inside these pages, you'll discover: Why mornings feel like crime scenes. The medical "group project" where every specialist wants a turn. The art of fart diplomacy and other colon negotiations. Grandkids who roast you in public, loudly. The betrayal of bald spots, ear hair, and rogue eyebrows. Why passion now requires a warm-up, a pill, and an ice pack. And the tech disasters that leave you livestreaming your nostrils. The perfect funny gift for dads, husbands, and grandpas — whether it's Father's Day, a milestone birthday, Christmas, or retirement. Because if you can't laugh at aging, you'll just cry… and then pee a little when you sneeze. So go ahead. Laugh at the sag, the creaks, the leaks, and the bald spot. Because yes, everything hurts and you're dying. But you're also still here — and it's hilarious.