Madonna/Whore Complex: Love Without Sex; Sex Without Love

For some men, love and sex do not go together. There are many names for it: Madonna/Whore Complex; Madonna-Whore Syndrome; Virgin/Whore Complex; Prostitute-Versus-Madonna Syndrome; Virgin-Prostitute Syndrome; Pedestal/Gutter Syndrome; Madonna-Whore Dichotomy; Virgin-Madonna-Whore Complex; Madonna vs. Harlot; Obscenity-Purity Complex; Good Girl-Bad Girl Dichotomy. Regardless of the name, it refers to the male sexual dysfunction in which some men believe that sex is a dirty act that is only enjoyed by “bad” women—whores. For these men, all women are divided into two very different groups: the whores/prostitutes/harlots, women who are easily seduced and who enjoy the dirty act of sex; and the Madonnas/virgins—as in the Virgin Mary—pure women of virtue who would never enjoy sex and who should not be degraded by the sex act. These men, who love their wives too much to have sex with them, marry virgins but save their passion for whores. For a woman brought up believing "good girls don't," marriage is supposed to be when "good girls do." She may link marriage, love, and sex together but marriage to a man with the Madonna/Whore Complex will be essentially sexless. A man diagnosed with the Madonna/Whore Complex does not want to have a wife "who is a lady in public and a whore in the bedroom." He expects his wife to be a lady in public and in private. He does not want her to be sexually aggressive or act whorish (in his opinion). He wants her to be pure in mind and body, virginal in every way. For him, love does not equal sex nor does sex equal love.