As a Matter of Heart: A Nuclear Engineering Professor’s Life-Changing Journey from Safety to Self—A Memoir

As a Matter of Heart reveals—with vulnerability, compassion, wisdom, and humor—one man's emotional and spiritual journey to find his authentic self and set it free. To cope with the pain and heartbreak following his mother's death when he was thirteen, and his critical father's incessant pressure to excel academically, young Bill created a persona to stand between his authentic self and the outside world. This persona had a single purpose: to protect him emotionally by ensuring his success in the world. And succeed he did—academic achievement brought accolades, admiration and respect, a great deal of which he had mistaken for love. After retiring from a successful academic career and experiencing a failed marriage and a second one about to fail, he embarked on an emotional and spiritual journey aimed at self-discovery and healing the wounds of his childhood. Along the way, Bill encountered Indian gurus, consciousness raising paradigms, open marriage, life in a cult, and shamans and a tribal chief in the rainforest of Ecuador. Toward the end of the journey he faced a series of personal challenges requiring everything he could summon in heart, mind, and spirit to meet them head on and to lovingly connect with himself, his wife, and his family. As a Matter of Heart describes the psychological terrain Bill navigated, and the price paid for rewards reaped with brutal honesty and keen reflection—providing a roadmap for those among us that have become what they do in the world, rather than who they authentically are.