Fifty Shreds of Gorak

Memoir, anecdote and meaningful other. First Dates: An honest and humorous account of my adolescent 'relationships' with the models in mail-order catalogues. Lamb 197: A lost Cumbrian lamb re-unites with its mother, leading to realisations about the relationship I have with my own. The Fabricheads: Dark imaginations of a town (in Wales) where trepanning is practiced, leading to improved intellectual function and enlightenment for its residents. Falling Down, Granola and the Water Bowl: After a hard day's work, I am confronted with mounting bills and suffer a cartoon mini-breakdown. He Played Eight: Mortifying infant embarrassment when forced to sing in class. Pretty Things: In a refuge I stayed in as a child, I sit and watch three women tattoo each other's hands, before another woman enters. I become transfixed by her, as she tip-toes barefoot with dancer-like prowess through the room. Nan Love: My nan had recently had a fall and I'd gone to visit her, but as I hugged her, I felt something soft and malleable in my hand… Knit Love Not War: After learning to knit, I have an idea to create a more peaceful world through 'Knit and Natter' parties. Islands in the Stream: A fanciful tale about the relationship between Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. A story about love, rejection and a song ruined with cringy 'aha's'. Grand Theft Auto: Bunking off school with friends, we break into an abandoned car and discover how flammable the stringy seat stuffing is. A fire soon gets out of hand. Calling Orson: Growing up with a violent stepdad and an absence of love expressed from my mother, I fall for a newly acquired puppy, Orson. Supermarket Sweep: Day 10 of Lockdown; observations of a hellish trip to the supermarket in the weirdest of times. Wedding Photography – The Stakeout: Roped-in as an assistant wedding photographer, I find myself in a socially awkward situation. Run with Wolves: Coming to terms with raising an 'alpha-female' puppy. Ediz Caught Wanking: A teenage friendship is shattered by devastating embarrassment. Terror at the Tills: Bored with pilfering from supermarkets, I create a mischievous new game. Power & Responsibility: A farcical letter to the electricity company. Going for Gold: A yearning for approval from my mother finds me excelling with Olympian-like focus on school sports day as she is unable to attend. Crossroads: At an impressionable age I find myself with the wrong crowd. With pressure growing on me to pick people's pockets, I'm faced with a moral dilemma.. This Ol' House: A fabricated story about integrity and the commodification of music, based around the idea of Shakin' Stevens as an icon of authenticity. Fray Bentos: Days before Christmas I despair of people, but then witness an act of goodwill, restoring my faith. A Christmas Glory: Fuelled by sexual energy, I explore the concept of good and evil while watching the Queen's speech on Christmas day.